Heinz - Tinytums

How she's feeling now

Your partner will go through a roller-coaster of emotions during the nine months of her pregnancy.  What she needs most is support and the most welcome source of this will be you.

But it’s not always easy to imagine what your partner is feeling and how you can help. To give you an insight into what she may be going through here are some extracts from another pregnant lady’s diary.

Week 12
Went down to the hospital for my nuchal scan today. This was to assess my risk of having a baby with Down's syndrome - offered because I'm 35. It was weird to be sitting in the waiting room surrounded by hugely pregnant women when I have hardly a hint of a bump.

In the consulting room, I lay on a coach and had gel smeared over my stomach. The radiographer moved an instrument over it and a black and grey image appeared on the computer screen. It was amazing - there's already a whole baby there. We could see its head and spine quite clearly, and even individual fingers.

Couldn't relax until the radiographer told us the likelihood of Down's. She asked if we wanted amniocentesis, which would give a definite yes or no, but the measurements of the baby's nuchal fold are within the normal range, so prefer to trust everything will be OK.

Week 14
First antenatal check-up at the clinic today - funny to be leaving work early this afternoon when everyone else was still in the thick of it. Again, loads of hugely pregnant women at the clinic, while all I have is a tight waistband on my trousers. Don't really feel like a fully paid-up member of the club yet.

Had my blood pressure taken, did a wee on a kind of litmus-paper stick to check for protein and glucose in my urine, and had my non-existent bump felt. Have to go down to the hospital next week to have my blood tested for rubella immunity, anaemia etc.

Week 18
Back for my second check-up. This time the midwife listened for the baby's heartbeat. The device she used meant I could hear it too - so strong and fast. It was much more emotional than seeing the picture on the scan - like confirmation that what I saw six weeks ago really is there.

Tried to find out a bit more about what my options are for the birth. For a first baby, a hospital birth is strongly recommended, but although the team of midwives I see for these check-ups deliver babies, they won't necessarily deliver mine. Feel really disappointed. Seems to me that having a midwife you know and trust must be the best way to get through labour - especially first-time round.

Week 20
Felt the baby moving for the first time last night. A tiny tapping very low down on my stomach, like some little alien trying to make contact.

Want to have the baby at our local hospital as it's just ten minutes drive away, so went on a tour of the labour ward last week. Some of the delivery rooms were kitted out with soft lights and big cushions; others were completely clinical… beds with stirrups and lots of machines. Where will I end up? Feel as if I should have some control over what will happen - but actually, am starting to realise that, to a large extent, I have to put my trust in the medical team.

Week 21
Went for my foetal anomaly scan today – it’s to check that all the baby’s vital bits and pieces are developing properly. The baby's grown so much - it looks really plump now, and is so big only parts of it can fit on the screen. We got a print-out showing its vital statistics and an indication of how this compares with other babies at this stage. Looks like ours is going to have a small head and long legs! Everything is fine.

Week 30
Our first antenatal class last night - an NCT (National Childbirth Trust) one for couples. It's a bit weird really. All the men are keen to be supportive - but strange for them to be sitting around discussing their partners' bits in front of other men.

It's dawning on me that my friends who have had children have spared me a lot of the details about childbirth. Have discovered that most forms of pain relief have some kind of drawback. I thought modern medicine had this all sorted out!

Week 39
What a day! Went for my weekly check-up, wondering if this would be the final one. The midwife asked if I'd felt the baby moving over the past few days - which I haven't really. Was sent straight off to hospital for the baby's heartbeat to be monitored and to have a scan. The monitoring was fine, but the scan was a different matter. As soon as she started scanning, the radiographer announced, 'This is a breech baby and it's very big.'  Gulp. Quickly rearranged my head - and my birth plan. Knew almost instantly that I wanted a caesarean - it's booked for Monday morning…